Monday, March 18, 2013

Witnessing, no longer directing her path

As my child walks away from me, moving down her own path, it is agonizing to be a witness to her choices and no longer a director.  Help me be an attentive, kind, logical, rational, level-headed mother who demonstrates intelligence not crazy. Prevent me from forcing the wisdom I think I gained in my teen years onto her – our experiences are so very different.  Prompt my phrases OhWonderful Wisdom Parent and Creator to emerge from my mouth as she needs to hear them.  Just in the right tone, with the perfect word choice at the ideal time.  Let all auxiliary, clunky judgements shrivel up.  Stop life-harming actions before they emerge. Prevent criticism from flying out of my mouth or beaming sharply from my eyes.  Inspire me to be more quiet than quick-witted so I may listen more than I lash out.  It is my desire to be like my 72 year old friend Mr. Nimmer who has “learned the hard way” how to be a good listener.  He has no children of his own. His UST and 360 Journalism (organization) students are his kids. He is an honest force to be reckoned with.  I want to more fully discover my honest voice that does not cower in a corner or pretend there is no conflict.  I want to be the one she eventually looks back to and says, “Oh, now I see what you mean.” Even if it takes her a decade to see through the trees.  I am now and forever her SUPER FAN whether she sees it – or not.  It is a parent's dream to see an oldest child college bound and strong. You Go Krista, Go.

1 comment:

Jennifer Griffin-Wiesner said...

"auxiliary, clunky judgements..." I love that phrase.